EXPECTING
by Patcat
Summary: See title.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Standard

Spoilers for the latest season.

Bobby's Medal of Honor is Canon only in my mind and my fiction.

EXPECTING

Chapter One

"You ok?"

Megan Wheeler stared at her salad until her stomach settled. She'd never experienced seasickness, but she guessed it must be something like this.

"Yea…False alarm…"

"My early weeks…I was sick every morning and every evening like clockwork," Alex Eames said gently. "The day it finally stopped I thought something was wrong."

Megan stabbed a tomato. "I wish I had a schedule like that. Although I'm not sick as often…It's the hormones now…And I deep getting hot and cold…"

"That wasn't too bad for me," Alex said sympathetically. "What was bad for me was when the kid seemed to be twice my size."

"I'm not looking forward to that." Megan smiled shyly. "At least I've got someone around who's been through this."

Alex grinned. "Happy to take you through the gory details. Just let me know if you need anything. You happy with your doctor?"

"Yea…She's good…It's just…Not having anyone…" Megan stabbed another tomato.

Alex reached across the table and gently touched the younger woman's hand. "I can't imagine how tough that is…I had my whole family…And Bobby…By the way, you have my permission to borrow him, if you need him. He was really helpful once he got past his fears that something was going to happen. He was reading all these books on pregnancy, and every time he learned about something that could go wrong, I could see him examining me for symptoms."

Megan smiled. "I may take you up on that…Ross is trying, but he's confused. And Nichols…Nichols gave me a pair of yellow booties…"

Alex chuckled. "Oh, those are useful…The kid'll only kick them off…"

"So…How did Goren treat you aside from the paranoia?" Megan chanced a sip of her decaf iced tea.

"Aside from those moments when he was terrified, great." Alex smiled at the memories. "Although when he realized he was going to have to work with a temporary partner, the poor guy looked like he was going to have a root canal."

Megan took a bite of her salad. It actually tasted good, and she was suddenly ravenous. "I heard," she said tentatively. "That was rough…I know Lyn Bishop from some women officers' groups," she added in response to Alex's frown. "I don't have a lot of time for them since I joined Major Case…Bishop was nice enough to me, although I got the idea that she was interested in being part of the Brass."

Alex poked at her sandwich. "I have to be honest with you, Megan," she said carefully. "I was never a big fan of Bishop. I know us girls are supposed to stick together…"

"Hence this lunch," Megan said.

Alex nodded. "And she was good enough at the job…But I always felt she was using Major Case as a stepping stone."

"I have to agree with you about that," Megan said. "I like Lyn…But she's very ambitious."

"And she started off by treating Bobby…Well…She didn't get him and she didn't try to get him. Granted, he didn't make things easy for her, and having me around the bullpen didn't help. But she kept looking and treating him like a freak…"

Megan looked puzzled. "But…I heard her defend Goren once when somebody said something about him…"

"Yea…I'll grant her that…When Bobby was on suspension, Bishop contacted me and offered to help any way she could. I was very grateful for that. She may be ambitious, but she's loyal and willing to stick her neck out." Alex smiled. "She went from staring at Bobby to being like this puppy at his heels. I'm not sure what happened…But there was a case…I know Deakins…Our former captain…"

"I heard he got a raw deal." Megan pierced a piece of chicken with her fork.

"He did…And I can give you those gory details sometime," Alex sighed. "Anyway…Deakins wanted to put Bobby up for the Medal of Honor…Bishop was all gung ho about it…Bobby was…Well, he doesn't handle praise well…And he already has one…"

"I've heard that." Megan looked suitably impressed. "Do you know how…"

"Not a lot…Bobby won't talk much about it besides mumbling about how he was just doing his job. He was grateful that he got it because it got him out of Narcotics. He was really good there, but he didn't like it. He felt like he was getting in the dealers' heads too much."

"That…That happened to me when I worked Fraud," Megan admitted. "And those perps…not nearly as bad as the ones in Narcotics." She took a long drink of her tea.

"You're more delicate than me," Alex said. "When I was hungry when I was pregnant, I'd devour things. You know Richie…"

Megan nodded.

"He got between me and the last bag of Skittles in the vending machine one day, and I think I might've hurt him if Bobby hadn't shown up with another bag." Alex laughed. "Bobby stopped eating around me for a while. I think he was afraid I'd either get sick or steal his food."

Megan giggled. "Nichols ate this massive hot dog with everything on it a couple of days ago. I almost threw up all over him."

"Chocolate milk helped me a lot…And chocolate ice cream…Bobby got me that a lot…'Course, chocolate ice cream still helps a lot," Alex said.

"Ben and Jerry's Mint Chocolate Chip," Megan said. "I've got several pints in my fridge…"

"If you ask, Bobby will bring it," Alex said. "He'll also bring you ginger and herbal teas…All sorts of things…He brought them to me, but only after he'd done his research and knew they were safe. He was good at hiding it, but I caught him a couple of times reading books about pregnancy. It was sweet really. He made sure I took my vitamins. Went with me to some of my appointments. I'm sure some of the nurses thought he was the father. He was great. And he tried so hard not to hover over me and worry."

"I hate that," Wheeler said fiercely. "Nichols does it. Ross does it big time. I'm pregnant. I'm not sick. I haven't got some contagious disease…"

Alex laughed.

"What?"

"Bobby. I got upset with him one day and said something like that. And he said that there was some anecdotal evidence that pregnancy was contagious. That when one woman in a group gets pregnant, other women do too."

"Maybe I should warn people," Megan smiled.

"Well, there aren't that many of us in Major Case," Alex said. "I don't know what you can do about the hovering…Except just keep doing the job…And remember it's not all bad. You can guilt them into a lot of things."

Megan grinned. "Yea…I'm finding that out…It's…It's just hard. I'm trying to figure Nichols out. I think he's like Goren…He's different. He's really good at the job. But he's unusual. And I can't figure out what's going on between him and Ross…Or what went on. All I can tell is that it doesn't seem to bother Nichols nearly as much as it does Ross."

Alex sighed. "Well, Bobby and Ross have this alpha male contest going on. And Bobby's trying not to play it, but every time he tries to back down, Ross does something to ratchet it up again."

"Ross is a good guy…A good boss…But he's…territorial. I think he has to be to deal with the politics…But…You know…" Megan said quietly. "I know a different Ross."

"I think Bobby and I are starting to see that Ross," Alex said.

"Alex…If this is none of my business…" Megan stabbed at her salad. "But…I know you were a surrogate…Was it…Was it…God…That's a stupid question…Of course it was hard…"

"Hard to give Nate up? Yea…It was hard…But the truth is…He was never really mine…And he still is mine in some ways…" Alex smiled. "If anyone can own a kid. My Dad says they're just on loan until they're adults. It hurt, but I tell you…I'd do it again in a heartbeat."

"It's just…I'm not sure…" Megan fought against tears. "I don't know if I can do this…"

Alex reached across the table and gently placed her hand over Megan's. "'Fraid you can't do the single mom thing?"

Megan nodded. "Sometimes I don't think I can take care of myself. I sure don't know how to pick men."

"Look," Alex said. "We're all muddling through…But from what I've seen, you're tough and smart. I'll help you if I can…And I think there're other people who'll help you whatever decision you make."

Megan wiped her eyes. "Thanks," she said shakily. "That's awfully good of you, Alex, especially since you don't know me that well…"

"Logan thought a lot of you," Alex responded. "Ross thinks a lot of you. Bobby thinks you've got a first rate brain and that you don't have prejudices. Everything I've seen and know about you says you're ok. Besides…Us girls got to stick together." She gently squeezed Megan's hand.

"Ok," Megan said. "Ok."

END CHAPTER ONE


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO

Detective Zach Nichols blinked and looked up from his computer screen. One of the things that had changed during his absence from the NYPD was the growth of computers as a major investigative tool. Nichols liked this development and its subsequent increase of speed in research and results, but he still struggled with learning how to use these new tools. He realized it had been some time since Megan Wheeler had told him she was leaving to grab a bite to eat with Alex Eames and then go home. Nichols yawned and stretched, and looked around the squad room. He was alone.

"Ok…Time for all good detectives to go home," Zach thought. He saved his files, turned off his computer, and stood. As he reached for his coat, he saw that he wasn't completely alone in the office. Robert Goren stood thoughtfully in the center of one of the interview rooms. As Nichols watched, Goren stared at the table and then started to move several of the photos and files that covered it. It was a surprisingly graceful ballet for such a large man, and there was something vaguely familiar about it to Zach.

"I think like that," Zach thought.

He watched as a quick, small smile crossed Goren's face. The big man carefully gathered the photos and files, stacked them, and made several notes in the tablet in his leather binder. Goren picked up the files and photos, walked out of the room and into the squad room, strode purposefully to Alex Eames' desk, and carefully placed everything on her desk. He pulled a sheet of paper from his binder, balanced it on top of the files and photos, and sat a stapler on the paper and pile. Goren sat at his own desk, and it was only then that he realized he wasn't alone in the room. He looked around, and his eyes met Zach's.

"Hi," Zach said. "Looks like we're all that's left."

Zach Nichols prided himself on an ability to feel comfortable in nearly every situation. Part of his considerable skill as an interrogator came from his ability to make others uncomfortable. In looking at Goren, Zach felt an unfamiliar discomfort, and he didn't like the feeling. There was nothing remotely hostile or aggressive about Goren—if anything, Zach thought he saw caution and surprise in the other man's eyes—but the intensity of Goren's concentration gave Zach a distinctly uneasy feeling.

"Uh…Yes…Yes we are," Goren said softly. "And…uh…I was just about to…I think I put something together…And I was just about to leave…"

Zach sensed this was one big man who wasn't entirely comfortable with his size. He recalled Ross' comments about Goren—that he was brilliant but unorthodox, that he depended a great deal on his partner, that both he and his partner had suffered through a lot in the past two years, and that he was on the Chief of Detectives' hit list. "I'd consider that last thing a plus," Zach commented. "I'm starting to agree with that," Ross sighed.

Zach smiled at Goren. "Yea…I just figured out something too." He held out his right hand. "I'm not sure we've really been introduced. Zach Nichols."

Goren shifted his black binder from his right to left hand. "Bobby Goren." His handshake was firm but not tight.

Zach sensed Goren might be the man who could answer a troubling question for him. "Uh…I wonder…If I could ask you something…"

Goren looked at him warily. "Uh…What?"

"Well…I've heard…I know…" Zach again felt the full force of Goren's gaze. "That…That your partner…"

Goren's defenses rose further at the mention of his partner.

"That she had a baby. And…Uh…It's something…I suppose you know Wheeler is pregnant…And…Uh…I don't know quite how to deal with the situation…"

Goren relaxed.

"And…Uh…I wondered if you could give me some idea of what I should expect…What I should do…" Zach continued.

"I'm not sure how much help I can give you," Goren said. "I mostly stumbled through the whole thing."

"I'd be happy to buy you a drink in exchange for anything you can tell me," Zach said. "After all, I think your partner and mine are joining up tonight."

"Yea." Goren stood quietly for several moments, and Zach sensed a debate going on inside the man's head.

"I'm not that threatening," Zach thought. "But then, from what little Ross has told me and I've heard, Goren's got his reasons to be suspicious of other cops."

"Ok," Goren said.

In the elevator, Goren leaned against the back of the car and stared at the floor. Zach tried to think of something to break the silence, but the other detective spoke first.

"Uh…I've heard you were Ross' partner," he said softly.

"Yea," Zach replied. "I…It was good…But…I…Frustrated him."

Bobby continued to study the floor. "You…You weren't close?"

"He was a very good cop. Good detective. And I always knew he had my back," Zach said. "But no…We weren't…Aren't…Very close."

The elevator stopped, and the two men walked out of it.

"Uh…I'm not familiar with a lot of the places around here," Zach said as they left the building.

"I know a place…Eames and I like it…Not a cop place…We can walk to it," Bobby said.

"Sounds good. I'm not usually comfortable in cop bars," Zach said.

Zach found his stride matching Bobby's as they walked. Bobby said nothing, but Zach sensed he wasn't being rude, but studying everything around him, including and maybe especially Zach Nichols. Zach was also studying everything around him, including and maybe especially Bobby Goren.

Goren stopped in front of a small but welcoming bar. "I hope this is ok," he said as he opened the door.

Zach paused to look inside and let his eyes adjust to the dark interior. "Looks nice…Kinda quiet."

"It's between rushes," Bobby said. "There's a crowd around noon. Another in the evening about an hour from now. "It's a good place…But…" His voice dropped to a whisper. "Stay away from the home brewed beer. The owner thinks he's a brewmaster. He isn't."

"Warning noted," Zach answered.

They settled in a booth in the back. Zach noted that it offered good views of most of the bar and its entrances and exits. They took their first sips of their drinks before either man spoke.

"The question about Ross," Bobby said deliberately. "It's just…We tend to frustrate each other."

"Uh…That may be my fault," Zach said. "Danny Ross is a very bright guy. But he doesn't like to think outside the box. And he's not used to not being the smartest guy in the room. He's very competitive…Even when there's nothing to compete about…" Zach took another sip of his drink. "I actually think he's a little better at that than when I left."

"To be fair," Bobby said. "I think he's gotten better just in the time he's been at Major Case. He certainly hasn't had it easy. Hell, I'm a full time job…" He smiled bitterly. "It's just…I didn't want to cause any trouble if you're close to Ross."

"I'm not. I didn't even know he'd gotten divorced until I got back here. Of course, I didn't make much of an effort to stay in touch with him. A couple of postcards, I think. I was close enough to him to know the divorce must have really hurt him. He adored his sons…talked about them all the time."

Bobby smiled. "He still does. I think they're a little harder to manage now that they're teenagers."

"They're teenagers?" Zach shook his head. "Well…Yea…I guess they would be now…"

"It's something I admire about Ross," Bobby said. "The divorce seems to have been nasty, but he seems to really fight to be in his kids' lives."

Zach smiled wearily. "I know something about divorces. Had two of them myself."

"I don't have any adult experience of it," Bobby said. "Of course I've avoided marriage…"

"Never found the right girl, if you'll excuse the cliché?"

"Oh…I found the right girl…I was never the right guy." Bobby said this offhandedly, but Nichols sensed there was real pain behind the words.

"I've seen Ross with his kids." Bobby steered the conversation away from his life. "He's really involved in their lives."

"Dads can be too involved in kids' lives," Zach said, and inwardly kicked himself for revealing so much.

"I've seen that," Bobby said quietly. "But that wasn't my…But…Then…" Bobby shifted gears so quickly Zach that he heard gears grinding. "I think Eames is the only person in Major Case who had a normal family…Whatever that is."

"Eames…Yea…That's why I asked you…" Zach decided it was a good time to drop the subject of fathers. "She was pregnant…"

"She was a surrogate for her sister…Gutsy…" Bobby visibly relaxed, and his admiration for his partner was clear. "I mean…There were dangers…As much as she hates to be reminded about it, she's small…And she was older than the optimum age…But she was tough…Captain Deakins…Our former captain…Eventually pulled her off active duty and put her on a desk…But she worked up to the day she gave birth." Bobby shook his head. "By that time…That baby seemed to take up half her size…"

"Wheeler's small, too," Zach frowned.

"Eames said it was like carrying a couple of bowling balls around all the time. Big bowling balls." Bobby smiled. "She used it pretty effectively with a couple of perps."

The waitress appeared and, before Bobby could protest, Zach ordered and paid for another round. "I'm paying for information," Zach explained. "I get the impression this wasn't a bad time for the two of you."

Bobby considered the question. "In some ways…It was great…But I had to get a temporary partner…That poor girl…I gave her such a hard time…It was just tough."

Zach sensed that last sentence was one of the great understatements of the decade.

"I suspect it'll be easier for me," Zach said. "I like Wheeler…But our partnership has just started. You and Eames have been together how long?"

"Nine years," Bobby said softly. "Four then."

"Wow," Zach said admiringly. "Neither of my marriages lasted half that long. You must have something special."

Bobby thought of the moment just after they'd processed the man who'd really killed her husband. Eames had turned to him with a sad smile and said quietly, "You know, Bobby, I've been your partner longer than I was married to Joe." He'd had no idea what to say to her, even after he realized that his partnership and friendship with Eames were the best and most important relationships of his life.

Bobby became aware of Zach's quiet scrutiny. "Sorry," he said. "Just thinking…You're right…It's something special…It's because of her…She…She's a great detective…Incredible person…And what she puts up with from me…" Bobby stopped himself by finishing off his drink.

Goren and Eames and their relationship intrigued Zach, but Bobby appeared to have revealed all he would or could about it.

"So," Zach asked. "What was it like when she was pregnant? What advise can you give me on how to treat Wheeler?"

Bobby smiled. "I…I was worried. I read everything I could about pregnancy. You'd think it'd be easy. Women have been having babies for millions of years…But…The things that can go wrong…"

"Yea…Makes you wonder how the species survived…"

"Yea…Eames did this for her sister…She did it willingly. I'm still in awe of what she did. And then…to have to give up the baby. I don't know how…She sees Nate…That's his name…All the time. She adores him. He adores her. But, as much as she tried not to show it, it was really hard for her."

"Uh…I'm not sure what Wheeler is going to do," Zach said. "I think she plans to keep the baby. I don't know what to tell her or what I should do."

"If Wheeler is anything like Eames, she won't want you to hover over her," Bobby said. "The one time Eames got really mad at me was when I suggested she was doing too much."

"I said something like that the other day to Wheeler," Zach said. "If looks could kill, I'd be in the morgue now."

"I only made that mistake once," Bobby smiled. "Hid my worries after that. She knew, of course. She saw me reading and looking up stuff. And there were the herbal teas and the chocolate I left on her desk. I stopped eating in front of her for a while. And then I didn't want to see what she was eating for a while."

Zach frowned. "I shouldn't have eaten that hot dog with everything in front of her the other day. Wheeler turned this green color I've never seen before."

"She had any strange food cravings yet?"

"Uh…Not that I know of…Strange?" Zach asked apprehensively.

"Oh, you'll know when she has them," Bobby said. "You'll know. Just don't get in her way. You've met Richie?"

"Yea…"

"He took the last bag of Skittles from the vending machine one day. Now, you do not take the last bag of Skittles from the vending machine on one of Eames' best days. This was not one of her best days. The baby had kept her up all night. The hormones were on high. I think she might've really hurt Richie if I hadn't pulled out a bag of M&Ms from my desk."

"Noted," Zach said. "Keep chocolate on hand."

"And whatever else you see her craving. Eames wanted raw onions." Bobby winced. "She never wanted them before. Hasn't wanted them since. Which is good, since I can't stand the smell or taste of them. It's one of the two things that can give me a migraine."

"Wheeler's been eating a lot of bananas," Zach said thoughtfully. "But that could be for the vitamins."

"If it's bananas, you're getting off lucky," Bobby said. "I gather Eames' onions are more typical."

"I seem to remember Ross said something once about his wife wanting barbecue at odd hours," Zach said.

The waitress appeared again, and again, Zach ordered and paid for another round.

"Really," Bobby said. "The best advice I can give you is just to be there for her. Especially…Well, I understand she doesn't have anyone…"

"Yea…Poor kid," Zach answered. "I guess she doesn't have much luck with men."

Bobby sipped his Scotch. He realized he'd drunk a lot fast, and it'd been some time since he'd drunk at all. "Yea…I don't understand how some guys can treat women that badly. And why women put up with it. Some of the men Eames has gone out with…I ran a background check on one of them once…She found out…Never did that again."

Zach was somewhat more accustomed to alcohol than Bobby, but his thoughts were also beginning to blur. He realized he was enjoying this time with Bobby Goren, thinking he'd found a kindred spirit. "What's the other one?" he asked, picking up a thread.

Bobby's mind shifted and recovered the thread. "Oh…The migraines? " He waved a large paw. "Oh, stress, the usual stuff."

Bobby thought he needed to keep his guard up. He liked Zach Nichols. Nichols seemed to understand and accept his frustrations with Ross, and it was refreshing to speak with someone who had some experience with the man. And Nichols didn't appear to have any prejudices or ideas about Bobby and Alex's partnership. But Bobby wondered if he'd already revealed too much about himself and Alex.

"Stress?" Nichols asked. "In this job…You must have them all the time."

Bobby pinched the bridge of his nose. "Well…Only when there's something really bad."

"Still…That could be most of the time," Zach said. He studied Bobby and realized that the other detective was withdrawing from him. "Sorry," Zach said. "Professional danger. I'm pushing…"

"It's ok," Bobby said, but Zach sensed his relief. "I do it too. Probably did it tonight. Sorry if I did."

"It's fine," Zach said. "I'm used to prying. Both of my parents are psychiatrists."

"I'd heard something about that," Bobby said. "Eames makes sure I'm on at least one branch of the Major Case grapevine. Although I'm not sure grapevines have branches."

Zach smiled. "I'm not sure about that either. I'll have to look it up when I get home."

"Me too…Can't stand it when I don't know something." Bobby sipped his drink. Zach noted that he'd slowed his consumption. "Psychiatrists…Eames and I had a case once…Parents who were a psychiatrist and a psychologist…Really did a number on their kid. She killed to get their attention."

Zach winced slightly. "Well…It wasn't that bad…But they were very…involved…"

"I wonder," Bobby mused. "If it's worse to have parents who're too involved or ones who're not involved at all?"

The two men sat in a not uncomfortable silence for several moments.

"I think," Bobby said, finally breaking the quiet. "The best advice I can give is what I said before. Just be there for her. Eames told me just knowing she could call me was a big help. And…It was actually fun…I took her to a couple of her checkups…Some of the staff took me for the father…That…That was nice."

"I'll keep that in mind," Zach said. The Goren/Eames relationship fascinated him, but he also wanted to keep both of its participants friendly to him.

"You know…" Bobby leaned forward. "You could've eliminated the middle man and just talked to Eames."

"Uh…The…The truth is," Zach confessed. "She scares me…a little."

Bobby smiled.

"Ok…She scares me a lot…"

Bobby grinned.

"Most of the time," Bobby said. "Her bark is a lot worse than her bite. Most of the time. Something like this…Just tell her that you want to help Wheeler. Eames'll give you a hard time, but she'll help."

"Can I say you sent me?" Zach asked.

"You can…If you let me buy the next round," Bobby replied.

For the rest of the night the conversation covered a wide range of subjects, including baseball (both men discovered they shared a dislike of artificial turf, the designated hitter, and the Yankees); to the dubious merits of Wikipedia; to favored interrogation techniques. Their consumption of alcohol decreased until they faced each other over decaf coffee. Zach glanced at his watch and stared at it.

"Late?" Bobby asked as he consulted his own timepiece. "Oh…Sorry…I didn't know…"

"I didn't mean to keep you out all night," Zach said.

"You didn't…Actually…I hope I didn't waste your time…I mean…You just had one question…"

"Yea…But it was complicated," Zach said.

"I…I guess so," Bobby admitted. "You're sure we're ok with the bill?"

Zach waved away Bobby's concerns. "Not a problem. I got the information I needed. And I found out about this place. I'd say it was money well invested."

They walked outside. It was a cold, clear evening.

"It's easier to catch a cab at the corner," Bobby said.

They walked, again in a comfortable silence, to the corner where, true to Bobby's words, cabs rolled in abundance on the street.

"Thanks, Nichols," Bobby said shyly. "I…I enjoyed this…I hope…I hope I helped…"

"Uh…Yea…I liked this too…Maybe we could this again with Eames and Wheeler…Although Wheeler…"

"Well," Bobby said as a cab pulled up. He motioned for Zach to take it. "Wheeler could be the designated driver."

Zach smiled as he stepped into the cab. "Good idea. See ya, Goren."

Zach turned and watched as Bobby waited for another cab. His black clad body silhouetted against the streetlight, Bobby was a large, lonely figure.

"That," Zach thought. "Is a good man with a brilliant mind. I can see why he frustrates Ross. I like him. I wonder why he doesn't like himself. And I wonder if he knows how much Eames means to him."

END CHAPTER TWO


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER THREE

"Damn," Megan Wheeler swore softly. She stared at the copier's empty paper bin, and then at the empty shelf where the copy paper usually sat. At that moment, the baby chose to shift position and kick hard. "Ow! Damn!" Megan hissed.

"Hey…You ok?"

Megan turned and nearly bumped into Bobby Goren's chest. She looked up as he shuffled backward.

"No paper," she said. "And the baby decided to move."

"Oh…I was afraid it was my bad karma with machines kicking in," Goren said. "Hang on…I can get the paper."

"I'd appreciate that," Megan said wearily.

"Not a problem," Goren said cheerfully. He loped away and returned several moments later carrying a box of copy paper on his shoulder. "Please don't make me put it in the machine," he said as he placed it on the shelf. "Bad things will happen if you do."

Megan smiled. "I can take it from here." She filled the copier.

"You'd think," Goren said. "That NYPD detectives would know that they should replace what they take in office supplies."

"Do you always remember to do that sort of thing?" Megan asked as she started to make her copies.

"No," Goren admitted.

He studied her, and Megan struggled not to blush. She could handle almost anyone's scrutiny except for Nichols and Goren. Neither man looked at her with hostility or anything approaching sexual interest, and their examinations were always subtle and even gentle. But their intensity was extremely unsettling.

"Are you sure you're ok?" Goren asked.

"I'm fine. I'm just going to need some food," Megan answered.

Goren glanced at the clock and blinked. "I didn't realize it was after noon," he said. "I always forget the time when Eames isn't around."

They began walking to their desks, and Goren danced awkwardly to try to stay out of Megan's way.

"My partner's gone today too," she said. "Nichols is chasing down a lead in Brooklyn. What's Alex doing today?"

"Cooling her heals outside a courtroom," Goren said. "Everyone thinks this perp will deal, but his lawyer thinks he can get a better deal if he waits till the last minute. He won't. But the ADA wanted at least one of us around in case she needed one of us to testify. Eames drew the short straw."

"And you get the paperwork," Megan commented.

Goren half smiled, and Megan realized she rarely saw him smile at all, and then only when Alex was around.

"Contrary to some reports, there's some paperwork I enjoy…Like case reports," Goren said. "The problem is that Eames and I tend to distract each other when we do it together."

Megan's stomach rumbled, and she reddened.

"Are you sure you're ok?" Goren asked.

"It's just I need to get something to eat." Megan sighed. "This baby insists on making me hungry at odd times. I couldn't face the idea of food this morning, but I'm starving now."

"I missed breakfast this morning, too," Goren said. "Unless you count several cups of bad coffee. I always seem to miss meals when Eames isn't around."

"Coffee," Megan said longingly. "I miss real coffee…"

"Hey…You want to grab a bite to eat? And not at the cafeteria?" Goren asked.

He immediately felt like an idiot. "If Wheeler has any sense at all," he thought. "She'll stay as far away from me as possible. She'll probably think you're doing this out of pity…Or that you're so desperate for company…And now you've put her in a position where she's going to have to let you down easy and say no…"

As these thoughts ran through Bobby's head, Megan tried to hide her surprise. She'd heard of Bobby Goren before she arrived at Major Case. Half the rumors said he was a whack job one step from joining the perps and/or a stint in a mental ward. The other half said he was the most brilliant detective in the NYPD with the best solve rate in the department. A minority opinion was that Goren was both. Nearly everyone agreed that he had an extraordinary partnership with Alex Eames. Megan had been eager to see in action the man whose cases she'd studied at the Police Academy and who had spoken with so much dedication and passion about the detective's role and responsibilities to one of her classes. Her mentor was less enthusiastic about Goren, and Megan found Danny Ross' attitude confusing. Her experiences with Ross were good, and she didn't understand his suspicions of Goren. Once she'd gotten to know Alex Eames, Megan expressed some of her confusion to the other detective.

"They've got this territorial thing going," Alex explained. "Ross seems to think there's some kind of competition…And Bobby doesn't even know there's a contest."

Megan had also learned from Ross and other sources that the last captain of Major Case had left under a cloud of some allegations of corruption. In Ross' eyes that cloud extended over anyone attached to that captain, especially Eames, Goren, and Mike Logan, and Megan had the uncomfortable sense one reason Ross partnered her with Logan was so that she could keep an eye on him. Megan didn't like this possibility, and she liked it less the better she got to know and like Logan. Ross occasionally pumped her for information about Logan and Goren and Eames. Megan owed Danny Ross a lot, and she liked the man, but she grew increasingly unhappy with what she saw as his use of her as a spy. She finally snapped when Ross questioned her about one of Logan's actions.

"Maybe you should ask him yourself, Captain," she said.

"Wheeler," Ross said. "Be careful. You don't want to hitch your career to a rogue cop. Don't sabotage your career like Eames…"

"Why? How?" Megan asked sharply. "So I can get in with the Brass? From what I've seen, I'd like to be like Eames. Part of the team that's cleared more cases and has one of the highest solve rates in the department sounds good to me."

Ross looked at her sadly and turned away. After that, the captain didn't ask her about Logan or anyone else.

Alex Eames had taken Megan under a wing a bit when the younger woman arrived at Major Case. Megan at first thought that Ross might've asked Eames to watch out for her, but she learned that the action was Eames' doing. Most of Megan's contact with Goren came from when he accompanied Alex. The man initially frightened and fascinated her. Part of this was his size, part his dark, brooding nature. Goren clearly did his work very well, but seemed to take little joy in it. Megan slowly discovered that there was a gentle soul inside that large, dark shell. He was always polite to her and never treated her differently or badly because of her size and age.

The encounter over the copy machine was the longest conversation Megan had ever had with Goren. His concern and actions touched her. His offer to go to lunch—or breakfast or brunch, since neither of them had eaten that day—surprised her.

"He's just doing this because he feels sorry for you," she thought. "It's kind of him, but…" She looked up at Goren, and was surprised to see the big man staring at his shoes. "He expects me to say no…"

"I'd love to get out of here," Megan said.

Goren's head shot up.

"But we're going Dutch," she declared. "I won't have anyone thinking I can't carry my weight around here."

Bobby struggled for a moment to process the idea that Wheeler had said yes. "Uh…Ok…What do…Where would you like to go?"

"Meatloaf," Megan said.

Bobby smiled. "Comfort food…I think I know the place…" He pulled their coats off the rack. "You ok with walking a few blocks?"

"I'm pregnant," Megan answered. "Not sick."

Bobby handed her coat to Megan. "Eames kept telling me that."

"I'll let Ross' secretary know we're going out," Megan said.

As she turned away from the secretary's desk, Megan saw Ross in his office. The captain saw Goren walk up to Megan and the two detectives walk toward the exit. Ross did a double-take, and a dismayed look came on his face. Megan felt oddly pleased as the elevator doors shut. Goren looked at her quizzically but said nothing until they were out of One Police Plaza.

"You look like the cat that swallowed the canary," Bobby commented.

Megan smiled. "I'll tell you when we get to the restaurant."

It was a brief walk to the diner, but Megan and Bobby spent much of it trying to match their strides.

"How does Alex do this?" Megan asked.

Bobby smiled. "I don't know. It's one of the things she does that makes our partnership work. One of many."

Aside from trying to keep in step with Bobby, Megan found the lunch one of the best times she'd had in a long time. Alex had told her about Bobby's charm; Megan occasionally had seen examples of it. But this was the first time she'd experienced it firsthand, and it was somewhat overwhelming. He opened every door for her, took her coat and hung it up, pulled out her chair and pushed it in. Megan sensed she didn't receive special treatment because she was pregnant, but because this was the way Bobby Goren treated people. To her relief, Bobby didn't start the conversation by talking about babies. He was funny and smart as he talked about a variety of subjects. He made Megan feel as if she were the most interesting person in the world, and she found herself revealing more about herself than she ever intended. She told him about her frustrations with both Logan and the department when Logan resigned, and about her puzzlement about Zach Nichols.

"He likes you," Bobby assured her. "He respects you."

"He's just…unusual," Megan said.

Bobby smiled. "At least he's not weird, like me."

"You're not weird," Megan insisted a little too strongly.

"C'mon," Bobby replied. "Eames has told you I have to smell everything…That I poke bodies…That's weird."

"Yea…But she said it's always for a reason," Megan said.

"But she doesn't always know the reason," Bobby said.

Megan tried to collect her thoughts. "He must be amazing in an interrogation," she thought. "He's not even trying with me, and I'm babbling out things…"

"You come here a lot?" she asked, trying to shift attention from herself.

"Eames and I do…It's open all the time, and you can get anything. I know the meatloaf tastes good at two in the morning, so I guessed it'd be good at one in the afternoon."

"It's great," Megan said. "Just what I wanted."

The waitress appeared with a refill of coffee for Bobby and another glass of milk for Megan.

"Your partner ok, Detective?"

"Yea…She's in court today," Bobby answered. "This is Detective Wheeler, who got stuck babysitting me.""

The waitress smiled. "You probably get this a lot, but you don't look old enough to be a detective."

"Sometimes I don't think I'm old enough to be one," Megan answered.

"Ah, don't worry…All of us will be old enough soon enough," the waitress said as she left.

"You doing ok without caffeine?" Bobby asked.

"I'm ok now…The first week was bad…for me and anyone around me. I was tired and cranky. Now I'm just tired."

Bobby smiled. "Eames wouldn't admit it, but she was dragging sometimes."

"Well, please don't tell my partner. I know that he knows, but I'd like to try to keep up the illusion," Megan said.

"I'll stay quiet," Bobby promised. "If you'd like a sugar rush, they have terrific desserts here."

Megan didn't need much encouragement to try a slice of apple pie. She insisted on sharing with Bobby, but most of the pie went to her, something that bothered him very little.

"We need to get back," he said as she finished the pie. "Ross will think I've kidnapped you."

Megan giggled. "I saw him as we left…He looked shocked…Like I was going over to the enemy."

Bobby frowned. "He's your rabbi, right?"

"Yes…But that doesn't make him my father." There was more anger than Megan intended to show in her voice. She hoped Bobby wouldn't notice it.

He did, of course.

"You owe him a lot," he said softly. "You don't like it, but you owe him."

"Yea," Megan admitted. "And he's a good cop and a good guy. But I gotta find my own way."

Bobby didn't press the issue. "I can understand that," he said. "I think the way right now is for us to get back to work."

He treated her as well on the way back to Major Case as he had on the way to the restaurant. He quietly if awkwardly adjusted his stride to meet hers. He held the door open for her as they entered One Police Plaza and waited for her to enter the elevator before him. They were alone in the car, and Megan felt free to say what she wanted.

"Thank you," she said softly. "This…This was nice. It made me feel better."

Bobby clung to the far wall. "You're…You're welcome. I…I enjoyed it…If you…If you need any help…If there's anything I can do…I'd be glad to do it."

"Alex told me I could borrow you," Megan said. "Thank you."

Bobby shifted from one foot to the other. "Well..She does have first dibs…"

The elevator had almost reached the eleventh floor.

"I wonder," Megan asked. "I wonder if Alex knows how lucky she is to have you."

The elevator stopped, but before its doors could open Bobby held the close door button.

"I'm the lucky one," he said softly.

He released the button and hurried toward the squad room. Megan slowly followed him.

END CHAPTER THREE


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER FOUR

"I wouldn't drink that if I were you."

Zach Nichols held the coffee cup poised in midair. He turned to see Alex Eames examining a report.

"And why wouldn't you drink it?" he asked.

"Taste it and you'll find out."

Zach raised the cup to his nose, sniffed and winced.

"Gomez," Alex said calmly. "Is a very good cop. But he makes the worst coffee I've ever tasted. And since I'm a cop, I've tasted some pretty horrible coffee."

"So why hasn't he been banned from making it?" Zach asked. He stared at the cup as if he couldn't quite believe what was inside it.

"He has," Alex replied. "But he keeps on doing it. He claims he's finally got the hang of it. He doesn't." She rubbed her eyes. "Ok…I'm going to have to get some decent coffee." She looked at Zach. "You want some, Nichols?"

Zach sat up. "Coffee…You want to have coffee with me?"

Alex shut off her computer. "Well…With Bobby gone, you're the resident genius. And I only have coffee with geniuses."

Zach stood and bowed slightly. "I am deeply honored."

He followed her into the elevator. As the doors closed, Alex and Zach saw Captain Danny Ross standing in the middle of Major Case and staring in dismay at them.

"He probably thinks we're conspiring against him," Alex commented.

"Are we?" Zach asked.

"Not me," Alex answered. "As long as he's not in full battle with my partner I'm usually on Ross' side."

The elevator stopped, and several people entered. Alex and Zach were quiet until they stepped outside One Police Plaza.

"There is," Alex said with the authority of someone who'd memorized all the sources of caffeine within five blocks. "A Starbucks over there…There's also a cheaper place over there that's just as good…"

"Cheaper is fine by me," Zach said. "Unless you're addicted to some Starbucks concoction."

"Bobby's suggested that they may put some other addictive substances than just caffeine in their drinks," Alex said. "But that doesn't keep him from buying me one of their largest, most complicated creations when he's trying to make up with me."

"Does that work?" Zach tried to adjust his stride to match Alex's.

"Sometimes," Alex admitted. "You and Wheeler have trouble walking together?"

"We're working on it," Zach replied evenly. "How long did it take you and Goren?"

"About a year," Alex said. "The fact Bobby's left handed didn't help. We banged into each other for a while."

"Great," Zach sighed. "Just about the time we've figured that out, Wheeler will be on leave."

They reached the coffee shop. Zach insisted on paying for Alex's drink. "I'd like some information, actually," he said as they sat down. "So I feel like I should pay."

"About how to deal with Wheeler and her situation?"

"Yes," Zach said. "Did Goren mention…"

"He did." Alex sipped her coffee. "You could do a lot worse than do what Bobby did for me when I was pregnant."

Zach leaned forward. "He didn't seem to think he'd done all that well."

Alex sighed. "Robert Goren is one of the most brilliant men…and has the least sense of what he does for other people."

"I got a sense of that when I talked to him," Zach said. "I mean…It was great talking with him. I think he liked talking with me. But there were moments when I felt like he was apologizing for taking up my time."

"Yea…That sounds like Bobby…"

"Someone did a number on his head," Zach mused.

"And you know about that since you had psychiatrists for parents." Alex spoke more sharply than she intended.

Zach leaned forward. "I'm sorry. I forget sometimes that people's lives aren't always up for my observation. I like Goren. I really do…But there are interesting contradictions about him."

"I'm sorry to," Alex said. "It's just…I feel I need to protect him sometimes…And lately…Well…He's needed some protecting from himself and from some people who should be watching out for him."

"I…Ah…I've heard about that," Zach said sympathetically. "He crossed Moran over a bad cop."

Alex nodded.

"Goren was right?"

"Yea…"

"Doesn't surprise me…Moran was an idiot when I was working with Ross," Zach said. "Some things don't change."

Alex sipped her coffee. "I was lucky enough that I didn't have to deal with him until…"

"You don't have to go into details," Zach said quietly. "Ross told me some of them."

"Thanks," Alex said shakily.

"Just for the record," Zach continued. "Ross thought Goren was right in that case. And he thinks Moran might have wanted Goren to blow that undercover operation."

Alex stared into her coffee as Zach's words settled in her mind. "You don't think that…The Chief…He's a cop, for God's sake! You don't think he wanted Bobby…"

"I think he wanted a problem to go away," Zach said quietly.

"Oh…God…I…I almost made it go away," Alex choked.

"I think Moran underestimated you and Goren," Zach said. "A lot of people seem to make that mistake."

Alex managed to recover her voice. "I hope you never become a perp."

"I've heard the rumors about Goren…and me," Zach said quietly.

"They don't seem to bother you," Alex answered. "They do Bobby."

"I was raised to have a very high sense of self esteem," Zach said. "I get the impression that Goren didn't have that."

"Yea," Alex said cautiously. "You're certainly like Bobby in one way. You get people to tell you things they don't want to…Even when they know better."

"I'm sorry," Zach said. "I do it without thinking. One of the major reasons behind one of my failed marriages. At first she thought it was great to have a husband who knew what she was thinking."

"How long did that last?" Alex asked.

"Oh, about two years…The divorce took longer, I think."

"I would've liked some thinking about what I was thinking," Alex said. "My husband did that only occasionally."

For the first time since they'd arrived at the coffee shop, Zach looked uncomfortable.

"You know what happened?" Alex asked.

"Yea…Uh…"

"It's ok," Alex said. "You won't upset me by talking about it. The thing is…I've been partners with Bobby a lot longer than I was married." She smiled. "Bobby probably cares more about what I think than my husband did…" She sighed. "See…I did it again…Told you more than I intended. You must be very good at interrogations."

Zach smiled. "Wheeler said the same thing about Goren. Also said he was very sweet to her."

"If we ever need to tag team a suspect," Alex said. "I'm going to suggest to Ross that you and Goren do it."

Zach grinned. "Might scare the suspect out of his skin. As long as Goren and I don't try to impress each other."

"Where is your partner?" Alex asked.

"Doctor's appointment. I…Uh…offered to take her, but she took a raincheck. She did seem to appreciate it."

"I'm sure she did," Alex said. "And I'm sure she'll give you a call if she needs help. Just be sure that you answer her then, if you really mean to help her."

"Oh…I do mean it…I do…" Zach sat up straight in his chair.

"Well, just remember I'll be watching you." Alex tipped her coffee cup towards Zach.

"And where's your partner?" Zach asked.

"He also has a doctor's appointment," Alex said.

"Nothing serious, I hope…"

"No…Just a follow up…" Alex said calmly.

Zach decided against pursuing this line, although he wondered if this appointment had something to do with Goren's suspension and the requirements of his return.

"I guess that wish Wheeler I'll just try to follow Goren's example," he said. "Goren told me he was just around when you needed him. I gather it was more complicated than that."

"Considerably," Alex said. "He did a lot of research. I think he knew more about pregnancy than I did before everything was over. He hovered until I called him on it. He still hovered after that, but he was better at hiding it."

"Yea…Goren mentioned that…"

"I appreciated it. I appreciated him trying to stop hovering and the hovering." Alex smiled. "But what was really great…" The smile disappeared. "Bobby came to see me in the hospital after the baby was born…You know I was a surrogate for my sister?"

Zach nodded. "I was very impressed by that."

"It wasn't that hard. I wasn't that brave…I got pampered beyond my wildest dreams for nine months," Alex said.

"But giving up the baby…"

"That was tough," Alex admitted. "But I'd do it again in a heartbeat. I helped my sister and her husband. And Nate…It's hard to say what we are to each other, but whatever it is, it's great. But right after his birth…" Alex bit her lip. "My family…They were wonderful…But they were occupied with Nate…And then Bobby showed up and…I'm not going to say he saved my life or anything like that because I wasn't that bad off…But he made things a lot better just by being there." She looked at Zach, who could barely meet her gaze. "And that's what you can do for Wheeler. Just be there and make things better."

"That can't be as simple as it sounds," Zach said. "I'm afraid I'll be there and make things worse."

"You'll muddle through," Alex said. "It's what we all do. Muddle through…"

END


End file.
